College courses of the future, courtesy of a neural network

There are a lot of strange courses that make it into a college course catalog. What would artificial intelligence make of them?

I train machine learning programs called neural networks to try to imitate human things - human things they are absolutely are not prepared to understand. I’ve trained them to generate paint colors (Shy Bather or Stanky Bean, anyone?) and cat names (Mr. Tinkles is very affectionate) and even pie (please have a slice of Cromberry Yas). Could it have similar “success” at inventing new college courses?

UC San Diego’s Triton alumni magazine gave me UCSD’s entire course catalog, from “A Glimpse into Acting” to “Zionism and Post Zionism”, a few of which I recognized from when I was a grad student at UCSD. (Apparently I totally missed my opportunity to take “What the *#!?: An uncensored introduction to language”) I gave the course catalog to a neural network framework called textgenrnn which took a look at all the existing courses and tried its best to figure out how to make more like them.

It did come up with some intriguing courses. I’m not sure what these are, but I would at least read the course description.

Strange and Modern Biology
Marine Writing
General Almosts of Anthropology
Werestory
Deathchip Study
Advanced Smiling Equations
Genies and Engineering
Language of Circus Processing
Practicum Geology-Love
Electronics of Faces
Marine Structures
Devilogy
Psychology of Pictures in Archaeology
Melodic Studies in Collegine Mathematics

These next ones definitely sound as if they were written by a computer. Since this algorithm learns by example, any phrase, word, or even part of word that it sees repeatedly is likely to become one of its favorites. It knows that “istics” and “ing” both go at the end of words. But it doesn’t know which words, since it doesn’t know what words actually mean. It’s hard to tell if it’s trying to invent new college courses, or trying to make fun of them.

Advanced Computational Collegy
The Papering II
The Special Research
Introduction to Oceanies
Biologrative Studies
Professional Professional Pattering II
Every Methods
Introduction study to the Advanced Practices
Computer Programmic Mathematics of Paths
Paperistics Media I
Full Sciences
Chemistry of Chemistry
Internship to the Great
The Sciences of Prettyniss
Secrets Health
Survivery
Introduction to Economic Projects and Advanced Care and Station Amazies
Geophing and Braining
Marine Computational Secretites

It’s anyone’s guess what these next courses are, though, or what their prerequisites could possibly be. At least when you’re out looking for a job, you’ll be the only one with experience in programpineerstance.

Ancient Anthlographychology
Design and Equilitistry
The Boplecters
Numbling Hiss I
Advanced Indeptics and Techniques
Introduction in the Nano Care Practice of Planetical Stories
Ethemishing Health Analysis in Several Special Computer Plantinary III
Field Complexity in Computational Electrical Marketineering and Biology
Applechology: Media
The Conseminacy
The Sun Programpineerstance and Development
Egglish Computational Human Analysis
Advanced A World Globbilian Applications
Ethrography in Topics in the Chin Seminar
Seminar and Contemporary & Archase Acoa-Bloop African Computational for Project
Laboration and Market for Plun: Oceanography

Remember, artificial intelligence is the future! And without a strong background in Globbilian Applications, you’ll be left totally behind.

Just to see what would happen, I also did an experiment where I trained the neural net both on UCSD courses and on Dungeons and Dragons spells. The result was indeed quite weird. To read that set of courses, become an AI Weirdness supporter!

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