Remember Neopets? It’s an online game where you can raise virtual pets that can grow, train, and battle one another in a virtual arena.

Although I’ve never played it, people keep mentioning Neopets to me because apparently Neopets has very weird foods. I found a list of them at JellyNeo’s and oh wow, yeah. They look like they came straight from a neural net.


Thanks to a list of 2,500 names provided by Nyssa Busko and May, I was able to see what an actual neural net program would make of these. I fed all these foods into textgenrnn, and waited to see what kind of imitation it would produce.

Turns out it loved them. It generated foods that were both exceedingly weird and entirely Neopets plausible.

Cheesy apple
Orangeberry cookies
Pink sundae
Rainbow salad
Baby sandwich
Space cone
Squid cheese cone
Butter sandwich
Moon sandwich
Strawberry sand crisps
Striped carrot cookie
Strawberry covered crisps
Green coffee
Bacon bread
Spiral soup
Pizza apple
Strawberry hot chips
Spicy ice cream cereal

Some of them were weird even for Neopets foods, though. I tried my best to illustrate these, but I’m not sure if I even got close.

Terror negg
Chocolate milk sandwich
Chocolate dog
Soysaus cookies
Water sandwich
Starless sandwich
Purple cheese flam toast
Green sliceball sundae
Spaghetti burger flower
Candy fried cheese barge
Battle cupcakes negg

And some of these I don’t know what they are, and most of them I don’t WANT to know what they are. I illustrated the ones I could.

Slum floss
Left soup
Fancy stink
Boron cheese core
Bloody sandwich
Hollow cone
Meta pizza
Chicken sought
Flosh cake
Potato day merry sandwich
Bam steak people cake
Spicy tea shaped and chocolate fount scorf long

Since many of the first users of Neopets are now old enough to drink (it’s been around since the late 1990s), I thought I’d see what happened if I combined Neopets foods and craft beers. To read the results (and get future bonus content), become an AI Weirdness supporter!

Subscribe now

Subscribe now