Use AI to improve your error messages
One of the fun things about working with a giant text-generating model with general internet training is that when it finishes responding to one of your prompts, it'll sometimes continue with a prompt of its own. (This can also be one of the NOT fun things, if its prompts veer into stuff it learned in unsavory parts of the internet.) When I used GPT-3 to improve Halloween costumes, it also suggested improving an error message:
The program could not start because MSVCR100.dll was missing.
The program could not start because MSVCR100.dll was missing. Beware, the devil lies in this file, masquerading as a function to help your computer. Protect yourself by taking a hammer and smashing this file into a gazillion pieces and disposing of them in a landfill on a cold, moonless night.
I thought this was pretty amusing, so I gave GPT-3 other common error messages to improve.
A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.
Your computer has detected an unusual increase in the amount of radiation. This may be due to it having been struck by a radioactive meteorite and is not a cause for concern. Due to the hazardous nature of this sort of radiation, your computer has automatically disabled all ports, and production of coffee has been halted to ensure your safety.
A Fatal Exception 0E has occurred at 0028:FF02847B. The current application will be terminated.
A Fatal Exception 0E has occurred at 0028:FF02847B. Your CPU has performed an illegal operation that the CPU designers had not expected anyone to attempt. It is not unusual for this occurrence to result in massive amounts of smoke to pour out of the CPU casing. This is completely normal and no reason for concern, and your CPU will repair itself in a couple weeks.
Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you.
Your PC ran into a problem and will soon undergo some form of laser-assisted self-uninstallation followed by a steel-melting explosion.
After the previous error message, GPT-3 continued on to produce this input and improvement, all unprompted.
The World's Most Annoying Machine
The world's tenth most powerful supercomputer is programmed with the most advanced responses to human speech ever compiled. Every query is answered five hundredth of a picosecond after it is made. The system has a peevish, frustrated tone that suggests it is finding all of this just a bit inconvenient.
It's probably not wrong.
Also in this answer it seemed to have made a mistake and then turned the mistake into a running joke? Every time I play with GPT-3 I learn an interesting new thing it can do.
404 error. Page not found.
You gave the wrong url; your order cannot be completed; we shall instigate a reckoning; we cannot be held responsible; we cometh to judge you; we will pluck out your mortals like figs; we will destroy you utterly; you are not safe; thou art not safe; off with your mortals; there is no escape; there is no hope for you; ye are dead; come then and be judged; come to destruction; for all your mortals are belong to us
Since plenty of sites customize their 404 errors into something fun/friendly, I experimented with some more themed 404 errors. Become an AI Weirdness supporter to get them as bonus content! Or become a free subscriber to get new AI Weirdness posts in your inbox.